I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We have started to decorate penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize