i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
