I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
honey bunches of taint.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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