I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
