Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
is wine microwaveable?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
