I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
