Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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