We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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