I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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