lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
