I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
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