She said her name was "party"
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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