so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
