I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize