where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
