Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
