Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
