Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
you made out with another girl for some wings
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
