Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Holy sore nipples Batman
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
