Screwed.edu
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
