1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
