sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize