Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize