Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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