Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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