Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
