Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
