Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
