They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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