Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize