Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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