doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
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