Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
