His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
