Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Pooping to opera.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
