so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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