I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
