There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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