I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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