we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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