He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
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He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
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you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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