To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
