She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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