This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
