god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
3pm strippers are depressing
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
