I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
