he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
