Walk of Shame. In a state park.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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