it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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