Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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