apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
