It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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