dude i'm inner monologue high
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
