Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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