So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
