Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
