HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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