Do you want the good news or bad news first?
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?