I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.