Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??