We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Enjoy the penises
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE