The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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