I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I deserve this hangover.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
