Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Randomize
