i was rollin on her like bob the builder
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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