yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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